Another pain in all the wrong places, if you're not into it with the right person!
- one thing that DEMANDS helll loadsa sacrifice, emotions and time-waste! LOL, but true.
First of all, a relationship requires great level of "understanding" to keep it going well.. and that must be mutual.. "just love" alone in a relationship is of no use, definitely that'd only be a short journey down the lane.
So, right from the smallest issues to big decisions, understanding is the key word by which things can be sorted out in a decent way!
I have this friend of mine who has been dating a guy for about 6 months now, and what's worse is her ex, who she had been in a relationship with for at least 5 years, wants her back. Result? shes confused! The new guy is pretty cool, smart, fun-loving n understanding (after all, its been hardly 6 months :D) and she does not find it fair on her part to dump him or cheat on him for her ex, nor does she wanna let go of her ex,now that he wants her back, considering the closeness n THAT long-relationship n 'understanding' that they had! so, what's next? sleepless nights!
Well, she was this super-stoopid dolt who actually discussed about her "confusion" with her boyfriend, and what did she really expect from him? Whatever she expected, like, obviously she only later realised that she had screwed it up as much as she could! :\
And in what other way did it screw up?? more to come..
She's now strained her current relationship as well! any need for all this?
Now, the boyfriend is insecure and does not want to let go of her, nor is he able to trust her.. as he really does not wish to accept reality but he does not realize on the other hand, that his insecurity n suspicion is only worsening his relationship keeping him farther from what he wants, each day. Hence, result? All the 3 people dont have what they want, nor are they gonna be happy even if they get what they "want"... Right?
Because, as for the boyfriend is concerned, he does not want anything deterring his relationship with my friend, be it because of her ex, or any other factor.. on the other hand, even if she ends up not breaking her current relationship n not get back to her ex.. he'd still not be totally happy as the fact that she even had doubts, confusion n thoughts to get back to her ex would bother him always n the insecurity remains.. which later turns into ego, defense and anger. WHEW!!
Talk about the ex-guy .. he already made a (wise) decision of breaking up n parting ways and now he wants her back, knowing or not knowing the fact that she has already moved on n is now dating someone else. Either way, it doesn't make a major difference , cos sooner or later he'll know it for sure.. n knowing it, u think he'll feel blissful?? Now, even if she goes back to him, would he be permanently happy? NO WAY! How does his mind work?
"You dumped him for me.. hence, there's always a chance in future that u dump me for someone else!" or "how were those 6 months between u guys? were u both closer than what we were?" OR, another situation is where the duo get into an argument and the guy keeps pulling in her 6-month relationship n the guy's name repeatedly screwing up everything a lil more n more n more! Hence, he is not gonna be happy if he doesnt get her back as that is what he wants right now.. nor is he gonna be permanently happy even if he gets her back as her other relationship is definitely gonna keep bothering him life-long.. human-beings afterall!
AND here comes the girl .. talk about her.. she's the one who's most confused in the world right now .. she'd wanna stay with her cute, fun-loving n caring boyfriend with whom she is YET to build a strong bond with .. or 'd she wanna get back to her ex who knew her n loved her for 5 full years? or should she even get back to her ex, considering ALL his faults, how he had hurt her or how bitter his behavior had been .. which was the main cause for their break-up? WHEW!
How complicated these people make it!!
I dont see any need for all these agony!
My point is, if you really are in a relationship.. see to it that you keep it going well and "understanding" is the only pill to it! There may be hundreds of girls/guys
behind your boyfriend/galfriend (whichever is appropriate).. but that shouldn't in any manner affect you.. you need to take tension n bother only when your partner reciprocates (actually speaking, there's no point taking tension.. if your partner really shows reciprocation .. then there's no point u still sticking to them n its an indication it is high time you get out of it..One cant really demand love or interest, right?)
So why do you really care how many guys/gals are behind your partner as long as he/she is totally behind you.. i repeat, totally! Only when you are insecure (whereby its obvious to your own self that you're not confident about your own partner or your relationship) that issues shoot up! So, either make sure that your partner is ONLY behind you (if that is what u really want from them :D).. that is.. have full confidence in yourself and your relationship.. if not.. CHUCK IT!
NO point naggging, begging, demanding, arguing n draggging.. after all these must be felt n not asked for, right?! *oh too much of analogy today!! seriously*
SO, if that villainous EX wants my partner back, i'd let her try her best as long as my partner is stable n as long as am assured of his promise! But once he gets into a dilemma himself .. ugh, no point! he's doubtful himself, which obviously implies he hasn't given his best for his relationship with me.. which may make it meaningless.. Hence, if he wants to get back to his ex.. well n good (am saved).. if not n if he wants only me.. good for us.. let him stick to me .. let his ex keep trying n we can happily ignore THE EX-character! :D Right?!
Take a chill-pill.. You'll definitely .. ultimately get what u really deserve.. no point applying force, you only end up faking it all!
Peace.
